A couple of friends and I are driving through a town in the middle east. Our mission is simple. Blow up a bridge.

We reach the bridge, which seems to be abandoned, and start unloading our shit. I start piling the explosives on top of a railing (which isn't exactly the best place to put explosives if you want to bring down a bridge).

I notice that someone set off the timer early, and I yell that we have to get the fuck out of dodge right now. A couple of young girls are playing on the bridge, and I say that we have to get these girls out of here. Gary says there's no time, or room - the back passenger seat is already half piled up with explosives.

We reverse off the bridge, and then start reversing through the town. All I can see is a little girl standing next to the explosives. We go around a corner and start reversing when I see a flash, and then debris starts covering the road in front of us - luckily we're protected by the houses on the left hand side of the road.

We decide that it's best to flee the country separately, and I fly to Greece. I find myself staying in a cheap hotel. We all line up for meals much like a soup kitchen. I'm worried because my wallet is at the front of the line. Someone is walking around filling up everyone's cup with lemonade.

I go for a drive in a hire car - a grey Fiat - to some ruins. Whilst travelling slowly down the hill I get t-boned by a Taxi. He gets out, and in broken English says that I owe him for the damage, but he gives me a 10,000 euro bill. He must've meant that he'll pay for the damage. Phew.

Helen and I are sitting on the edge of a lake. Seals are sitting beside us on the wharf, they jump in and frolic. Helen throws harpoons at them, and they go through the seals like a knife through hot butter. It doesn't seem to bother them, as they continue to frolic.

We walk along the shore, and I realise that the water is not actually level - it's in the shape of a ski jump, however the water appears level. Somebody yells out "The tide's going out!", and suddenly gravity kicks in and the water starts flowing down towards the bottom.

Felix and I have to catch a plane to Tasmania to take some photos, but I'm running late and running around like a chook with its head cut off trying to organise stuff. I drive to the servo and put petrol in the car, but then walk off. I look behind me and the servo's gone.

Dude, where's my car?

I hop in a taxi and we're driving through some new housing estate. Four houses to the acre, four wheel drives in every driveway. This is what cancer would look like if God had a sense of humour.

We come to a pedestrian crossing and see flashing police lights, I'm covering my mouth with my hand and shaking.

I know what this is.
I've seen this before.

2 children aged about 6 and 2 are lying in the middle of the road, the 6 year old has been decapitated. I think the 2 year old is dead too until I see him moving and climbing over his dead brother. A blood splattered white commodore with a mangled front grill backs up, then takes off.

After telling the cabbie to wait for me, I get out to see if I can help. The guy who seems to be the father of the kids comes up to me and says "What do you want?" and I say"I just wanted to see if I can help" to which he responds "It's under control, champ. Just go. Gawn piss off!" - a group of his mates behind him start sniggering amongst themselves at me. They have something to hide.

I turn around and start looking for the cab, but he's fucked off - and my bag and camera were still in the car. Bastard.

I walk for what seems like hours. Every street looks like a poor facsimile of the last.
I have no idea where I am.

It's Corpus Christi's class of '95 twelve year reunion in a park. All the old crew are there, especially the girls I had crushes on. Rachael Hood, Paige Smith, Heather Frost - well, I didn't really have a crush on her, I thought she was stuck up.

My father starts talking to Rachael, and I'm annoyed he's hogging all the attention. There's a very thick fog covering the ground, but it's only about a foot high. It looks like we're in the clouds. Paige, Heather and I are discussing our mothers. Heather says Paige's mother is in prison for trying to stab her. I try to lighten the mood by saying "Oh yeah, my mother's always booby trapping things and trying to kill me"

We decide to go for a bike ride - these girls know how to ride. We're flying down a hill and into another park, I decide to take a shortcut over the grass, but it's wet and eventually I get bogged, whilst they take the concrete path.

Hayley and I are sitting in a bar. It's kind of an American mid-west type bar, with neon bulls, booths, and an old juke box. I'm standing at the pool table waiting for someone to challenge me. 3 goths - 2 girls and a guy - the girls are talking to each other, glancing back at me, giggling. The guy is standing there looking mournful. Maybe he's run out of mascara, or everybody he loves is dead, or something.

"Should we play with him?" one of the girls says to the other.

"I don't know. He's not really a goth. He's more of an ex-goth rocker." the other one says.

I come back with a witty retort - buggered if I can remember what it is - and they decide to come over and start flirting with me. I hope I'm never in that situation in real life, otherwise I'm going to come back with something stupid like "I like steam" and I'll just get weird looks.

The ladies and I play a couple of games of pool, and they have to leave. I go sit at the bar and have a beer. My uncle frank (Why the hell has he been in 2 dreams in one night?) is sitting at a booth with my mother and father, and some other people I don't recognise or care for.

All of a sudden rocks start floating through the door and start hitting everyone sitting at, or behind, the bar. I'm being hit all over and my uncle yells out "Hey David! Number 4, well done!" - he's holding up some piece of paper he found in my backpack. No idea what he's on about.

My dad walks past, I ask him for help - can't he see I'm being bombarded by small rocks? He just shrugs and walks out the back.

I grab Hayley and walk out the front. Everyone is looking up at a huge meteor falling towards us. It's light grey with dark grey cracks, and surrounding it is a white aura/mist.

It's falling so quickly we don't have time to do anything, I grab Hayley so she doesn't have to look and be scared. For a few seconds I think the meteor is going to go over our heads and miss us by miles, but all of a sudden it hits only a hundred metres or so away from us without a sound. It doesn't explode, or bury itself - it just bounces back out in to space.

Phew, that was a close one.

It's my party and I'll kill if I want to.

Actually, it's not my party, it's someone else's. I'm there for a reason, but I don't want to be. Everyone's laughing and having a good time - I'm just tired and annoyed. I am anti-fun.

A pregnant woman and her husband arrive. They look oh-so-happy. Someone offers them a beer and the man says "Oh no thank you. We can't drink beer, we're in our second trimester". I shoot him a look of disdain and throw my cigarette on the ground. He says to his wife "We shouldn't be around this cigarette smoke."

And I just lose it. I yell into his fat fucking face "Jesus Fucking Christ man. Go back home and get your balls off the shelf, or fucking grow a pair! Be a fucking man for once in your life!"

I want to tear out her baby and tread on its head.

They turn around and walk out, and I slump into one of those cheap fucking plastic chairs from Kmart and light up another smoke. Some teenage girls sitting on a lounge at the other end of the deck just watched my whole "display". The blonde one says to me "Damn, chill out dawg."

And I just lose it. I stand up and yell "You're fucking white! Stop trying to act black. You are not black. You are the opposite of black. You have no link to their culture. You have links to your own. Start living it and stop pretending you stupid fuckstain!"

I slump back into the chair, and peg a beer bottle at the wall, turn to the stupid blonde chick and start singing in a mock tone "Hey Mickey you're so fine, I got an IQ of 59! Hey Mickey! *clap clap* Hey Mickey! *clap clap*" after flicking my cigarette butt into the garden.

I want the whole fucking house to go up in flames and watch everybody burn.

I tell Felix that I'm going back to my hotel room, and to come and get me in 20 minutes after I've calmed the fuck down. The way back to the hotel is a series of dark corridors, lined with titanium lockers and vending machines.

After I've had a shower and relaxed a bit, Felix knocks on the door. He walks through the room and points outside, then exits via the glass sliding doors. Outside there's a kind of path down, but it's slippery and water is flowing over it. There's a handrail, but he doesn't use it, he just takes little steps.

It's dark now, so I decide to walk back to the party. I watch from the front yard, a massive garage door is open. The garage itself is empty, and goes right through to the backyard. It's about 50 metres long, 20 metres wide and 30 metres high, the walls painted a brilliant white. I can see everyone crowded around the guest of honour, or whatever, singing happy birthday.

I want to tear out their spines with a meat hook.

I walk to the other side of the house so as to not be seen by the crowd as they exit. I can hear my Uncle Frank talking about me, saying that if he ever got his hands on me he'd make me pay for what I did.

Fuck this, I'm not afraid of him. I yell out his name. I yell "Just for fucking once in your life, stop complaining. Everyone's really sick and tired of your whinge-fuckin-whinge. And lose some weight, look at you, you look like you swallowed a seal. Or if you can't do that, make some fatter friends so you look skinny in comparison. You know - like a freight train, or Tasmania."

He's mad. He starts waddling/running towards me. I pick up a leg of a table and smack him across the face. His face falls away and on to the asphalt with a sticky thud.

I want to bathe everyone in acid.

I pick up another table leg, this one has been fashioned to act like a mace. The crowd starts laughing at me. I ask some guy standing next to a window why they're laughing at me. He says "Didn't you know?"

Know what?

He says "Julia's here - she said touching your dick was like touching an ice cube."

I want to skull fuck everybody here.

Julia is standing against the wall lighting a cigarette, I hurriedly walk towards her with my leg-mace. She says "Hey gorgeous" right before the nails tear half her face away. Bits of flesh, blood, and bone stick to the end of the mace as she slumps to the ground.

And now for the rest of you fuckers.

Felix and Amber are getting married today, and I'm running late - as usual. I run to the side door of the church so as not to be seen by too many people, only to find as I open the door that the wedding party is facing that side of the church, and all the pews have been rearranged. I mouth the word "Sorry" and take my seat.

There's a girl sitting on the other side of the church in a red and black, leather and lace dress with a red veil over her head. She's also wearing a black and red gas mask. She tells me afterwards that she is a ballerina.

I tell her I could use her in my show - apparently I'm now an agent to the stars or something. We're soon in a room that is similar to the dining room at my grandmother's house. She's lying on top of a bed, and I run my fingers up and down the middle of her body. She just lays there smiling. She says she'll do it.

Outside sits an old EH Holden, the interior is completely modern. A woman stands in a super-white bridal gown next to the car. She has 5 babies in the backseat. She unhooks the parking brake by turning her head 180 degrees, and lets it roll up the driveway.

Some of my friends are sitting around talking about their plans for the weekend. They all seem to be taking romantic weekends away out to the country. They mock me by saying maybe I should have one too by myself.

I say "Fuck it, maybe I will" - they're convinced that I won't actually go on a weekend away by myself. It's just not done.

The bus takes me to the middle of wherever. I walk in and dinner is being served. I see Dom serving himself at the buffet. It's a real surprise and I ask him how he's doing. He's really dismissive and tells me to just keep walking. Weird.

The next day I decide to take my bike for a ride home and go through some of the stuff in the attic. The owner said there was some World War I relics I might be interested in. I climb up into my room (the attic) and start searching. There's some antiques that the owner had left here, clothes on the ground, the usual boy things. I find a diary from World War I. I'm afraid to touch it should it disintegrate in my hands.

I hear Jo come home, and I ask her if she'd like some jaffles. Some pommy guy comes in to the kitchen. Jo tells me it's our new temporary flatmate.

My family and I are sitting in Jim's parent's house from 28 Days Later. My dad looks extremely tense. He says some Federal Police are coming around to ask about our recent trip. I say I can't be here for that.

I get in my car and drive down the street and sit in the driveway of the Williamson's house. I'm there to spy on the people across the road. For hours I sit eating popcorn, occasionally looking through binoculars, and listening to the radio.

After a while I find myself outside the car, trying to get back in. The driver's side door is too close to the wall to get in again, so I attempt to get in through the rear passenger door, then climb over the front. The radio has been running so long that the battery is almost dead, and the car stutters a few times when I attempt to start it, and finally the whole thing is completely dead. I figure I can roll it out of the driveway and down the street to my parents place.

My mum's waiting out the front saying she made some dhal for me, but not to eat too much because it's got to last 2 weeks.

I dreamt the other night that I was practicing baseball. But instead of a baseball, I was using slices of bacon.

That is all.